Unrequited Love: A Collection

by Ari Surya

May 6, 2016

I have a new lover 

he has love dripping off his fingertips

pours into me like I deserve it.

I deserve his love but I am in love with a man that cannot even see himself,. 

a man that knows nothing of love.

Am I really in love or do I seek chaos?

Do I just need someone to fix?

Or are you my home because 

I can't stop thinking about getting lost in love with you.

I was a collection of all things he hates,

and yet,

he still loved me.

Love-you cannot stop it.

Love is beyond us.

maybe,

this was exactly what the universe intended.

Two souls so different-

complete a puzzle.

November 2, 2016

I did not leave 

because you are hard to love,

I did not leave 

because you're as horrible 

as you think you are,
I did not leave because

you hurt me,

I did not leave because 

I wanted to. 

 

I left

but never 

intended to.

 

I was pouring love 

into a cracked glass.

 

I filled you up with love

and somehow 

love seeped 

through the cracks.

 

Our glass 

was still 

empty

every time 

I came back.

January 2, 2017

 

I just want you to see me

I just want you to feel me

Hello.

Can you hear me?

 

Or am i still trying

to reach

an empty house

that we once lived in together

April 25, 2017

 

I’ve been seeing myself

a little differently

lately.

I died a couple days ago

don’t think I’ve fully

come back

just yet.

I’ve felt aches

in my bones

called growing pains.

They’re a pain

in my ass

ya know.

I’m sprouting like daisies

becoming the daisy

I’ve always wanted to become

I’ve been seeing myself

a little differently

lately.

I used to cover up,

felt empowered from

the mystery

under the baggy shirts

and baggy jeans,

men won’t cat call

if I look like a boy

I thought

I’ve been loving

my body

a little more

lately

feeling empowered

by embracing

my every curve

I once loathed.

 

I’ve been seeing myself

 

I’ve been seeing myself

a little differently

lately

I finally see you

I know you’ve been

waiting

for so long

Ari Surya: "My art is based on my life experiences, mostly focusing on my life journey. My work has a lot to do with self-awareness, self-realization, self-preservation and self-love. I write a lot about love and my experiences with it – the good, bad and what society makes us believe it is versus what I have found out love really is through personal experience. I hope to at least help or touch someone out there through my art. I want to help, heal and spread light to those who feel like they are drowning in darkness because I have been there before. The summer after I graduated high school, 2013, I was diagnosed with depression. Depression runs in my family but my family did not “believe” in mental illness, as the first person in my family to acknowledge my mental illness I needed an outlet to express all that I was going through. After a few failed suicide attempts and years of substance abuse, I survived my dark time and knew that my purpose was to share my story in hopes to save some little girl (or boy, really anyone that needs it) and give them some guidance and light that I needed at the time. I started by writing songs and venting in my journal then sharing with close friends. I then knew I was an artist because art was the only thing that I had a passion for. I knew this was my way to help people and spread my light and love."

on intentions: "I seek to heal through my story. I want people to know that they are not alone through my vulnerability. My heart is an open book that I want all to feel comfort in."

on marginalized voices: "I do feel marginalized. I sometimes second guess my work or do not put out enough work in fear that it will not reach as many people as I want it to. I also always worry that I have to not be marginalized to release my best work for people to see."

SYLA STUDIO.
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